Happy Birthday To Me

So today is my birthday.  Typically, I enjoy my birthday (as you can see by the pic above) because it's another excuse to get together with my wonderful friends and those I love and eat a bunch of food we don't need and drink myself into a stupor.  I'm not one of those people who has been afraid to turn another year older, or approach such milestones as 30 or even 35.  Someone always asks that token question "so, do you feel older today?"  My answer has never been yes.  I think this is mainly because I suppose I've aged well, and no one ever guesses my age to be over 26.  No one ever believes me when I tell them my true age, and I've never felt my age or felt pressure to conform to where people think I should be by now.  Plus, I still get carded at bars sometimes (Really?  Do I really look 19 to you?) which results in a profuse apology from the door person...lol!  I have never felt much older than the day before.  34, 35- makes no difference to me.  Until today.  

I have passed 30 and even 35 and not said to myself "Oh my GOD, I'm OLD!"  But today I turned 38.  Wow.  Where the hell did the time go?  I am still not married (although in a committed relationship) and I still don't have kids.  I'm not "that girl" that's dreamed of her wedding her entire life, with a life long subscription to Wedding Bells magazine, knowing what dress I would wear by some specific designer, blah, blah, blah.  I do want to get married and I do want kids, but now that I'm approaching 40 I feel like I'm in a big panic to get all this shit done.  I want to get married while it's still possible for me to look good in a wedding gown, and not look like Nana trying to rock clothes from Forever 21.  Plus, I don't want to be creepin' 60 while my kids are still in high school.  Let's get this show on the road, I say!  I've decided to start making plans.  Even though I don't have a ring yet, I think I'm going to start planning a wedding.  See, boys don't get (well MY boy doesn't get) that sometimes you have to plan ahead.  He's the type of guy that waits until it's too late, THEN wants to start thinking about it.  He doesn't put money aside little by little so that when it comes time, we have funds to do stuff.  Weddings need to be planned at least a year in advance, and we will be having a destination wedding so you need to give people plenty of notice to take time off and save up some cash.  Plus, I think if we have a resort picked out and a date, it will force him to start saving for a ring.  I no longer have time to wait for the ring, then start planning if I want it all to happen by the time I'm 40.  Some would say I am jinxing myself by planning a wedding when I haven't been proposed to yet.  Am I?  I don't know.  But the past has shown that the boy responds to a little "push" so to say so I think in this case, it's justified.  

So Happy Birthday to me, and my present to myself is seeing the look on the boy's face when I tell him he's getting married in a few years.  Should be a fun night. :)

   

TIMMMMAAAAE!

0:10 is about how I'm feeling today.  That is all.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TloqFIEZJ6E&feature=related

Poop bags. Get some. Seriously.

In September of 2010, we adopted a beautiful retired racing Greyhound.  We love her to death, and she's an absolute joy to have around and super east to take care of.  We live on the upper two floors of a house at the moment with no direct access to our backyard, so we must walk her for bathroom breaks, 4 times a day.  She loves to go to the small park 2 blocks away from our house, so I try to take her there every second day or so.  I enjoy taking her places she likes to go because I like to see her happy and she deserves it after years of being a working dog...:)  It's also been a few years since we've both owned dogs, and when the weather is nice we enjoy the fresh air.  

We are very responsible parents, and very conscious about picking up after her.  I wouldn't dream of letting her shit somewhere and not pick it up.  I don't even leave it in my own yard, and I sure as hell don't leave it in anyone else's or public property for that matter.  One time the poop bag fell out of my pocket without realizing and I had no choice but to leave her steaming pile of shit right where she left it.  But I came back and picked it up because public property or not, that's not cool.  But now that the snow is almost gone, it floors me how much dog shit people have left behind in the park we go to.  Like, it's EVERYWHERE.  Why is that okay?  Why is it okay to let your dog shit where kids and other dogs play and leave it there?  Because it's not your property so you don't give a shit? (pardon the pun) You can't even walk through the park without playing a tweaked version of hopscotch.        

I really don't understand people anymore.  As a dog owner, I have poop bags everywhere- in my car, my purse and in every pocket of every jacket I own.  So many people these days have a sense of entitlement, and feel everyone else should be responsible for things they do or do not think they should have to do.  My parents taught me to respect others and their property, and I don't do to others what I wouldn't want done to me.  I don't even let my dog go to the bathroom on anyone's lawns and prefer she go on public or city property.  Aside from the fact that I think it's rude, there's no way I could get away with the event going unnoticed.  My dog brews up some steamers that are probably bigger than mine so there's no just kicking some dirt over HER logs and carrying on with my day.  Personally, I don't care if someone let their dog shit in my yard, as long as they pick it up.  I'm a dog owner.  I get it.  But it is my luck that the one time I would let her go on someone else's property, she would decide to pick the house of some grumpy 79 year old man who's mad at the world, and (of course) would just happen to be looking out his window at that exact time, come scurrying out in his shorts, black socks pulled up to his knees and sandals with his fist in the air screaming "Get off my goddamn property!  Damn inconsiderate kids!"  Kids, of course, because everyone under 60 is a kid to him.  This surely wouldn't happen to the actual inconsiderate people who NEVER pick up their dog's shit, but to considerate little old me who had no intention of leaving a pile of steaming shit in someone's yard.  They must have all been to his house, because now they let their dogs shit in the park. 

Come on people, pick up your dog's shit!  That is all. 

Why, why, why?

Ok I have a bone to pick.  I'm not one to normally pick on something like this because I am not a jealous or obsessive person by any means and I frown upon those who are.  My other half is a musician who is in bars on a weekly basis, and I've seen girls try to pick up the guys in the band, mine included, right in front of me I might add and I just laugh.  To be with a guy in this industry, you have to be a very trusting person in that he wouldn't reciprocate any advances.  Most women would be surprised at how "the band" views women who come on to them- 80% of them have no interest in women who present themselves as whores or easy (not meant to be offensive to anyone, just what I've been told) and the band is there for one thing and that's to play music.  Now, there is a small percentage of musicians who just wanna get laid, but that percentage is not as high as one might think.

I am always that person that talks down the jealous crazy girl (the girlfriend of a member in my spouse's band is one of these people) and trying to show her how she's over-reacting with no good reason.  My male friends often ask "Why do women (insert ridiculous behaviour here)" and I can't answer because I'm not like that and I just don't get it.  I believe everyone has a past which makes you who you are, and you cannot ever be jealous of what someone did with an ex.  In my eyes, it is not for you to say, because it was before you came along and an argument with this defense is not a good one or one that can or should be won.  However, THIS I do not understand:

Why do some men feel it necessary to keep pictures of exes around?  And I don't mean a nice pic of you two in the park, or at a family event.  I mean photographs of the provocative or sexual type.  It especially hits a nerve when his current girlfriend knows about this person or people, knew he was all hot for the chick back then and probably still is, and most likely needed a drool bucket every time he looked/looks at her.  When a guy sees a hot actress or model on TV, this is not a problem to me.  It is human nature to be attracted to beautiful people and these people are not "real" in a sense.  There is no reasonable threat that your man/woman is running off with these people having a mad affair- they're fantasies and that's ok.  But when that person is real, you've met them or know of them, I think it's a totally different ball game.  

And what about the guy that just likes to have photo documentation of his conquests, casual or serious?  Sure, taking pics in the throws of passion, or whatever kinky thing you happened to be into at the time is fun but why keep a photo album of them?  I actually kind of get it for a guy in his 20's who is boasting to his buddies about the hot chick he banged last night.  But when you're in a long term committed relationship, or married there's no need to keep them anymore as far as I am concerned.  Just a word of advice for those of you that are into this sort of thing- hide them and hide them well if you're going to keep them.  Everyone KNOWS that everyone else has a past, but it's a totally different thing to SEE the photo documentation for yourself.  Once that photo is seen, the eyes that saw it will have it forever etched in their brain and nothing can take it back.  This is not a good thing boys and girls.  

I don't even know the people in this pic and I find it sick and wrong...;)   Thoughts anyone?

 

What the??? Who Doesn't Like Italian Food?

Ok so my good friend Just Saying... has posted a blog about what foods she is not a fan of.  Her answer?  Italian food!  I haven't met very many people who don't like Italian food- or at least SOMETHING Italian.  I am Italian (so a little biased on the topic) but it is my opinion that if you've had Italian food and you didn't like it, it simply wasn't made right.  If you've had Italian food that was prepared and served properly, there's nothing NOT to like- the sauces, the cheeses, the pastries...yum, yum and yum.  Ok now that I'm over that horrifying moment, she is asking us to pass it on:

What will you NOT eat?
What will you eat but it's never your first choice?    

What will I NOT eat?

Liver (also her first choice- good girl!)

Whipped Cream.  I cannot bear to even lick some off a spoon that I used to scrape the whipped cream off of something I didn't know came with it.  Worst invention ever.  

Raisins.  If I bite into something I didn't know had raisins in it, I will spit it out right then and there and I don't care who is around or where I am.  It has to come out and fast.  Again, there is no good reason to put a raisin in any food dish, baked goods included.  


What will you eat but it's never your first choice?  
Thai and Vietnamese.  I have a hard time finding things at these types of restaurants that I am in the mood for.  I grew up eating food with a very different taste (Italian) therefore I've had a long hard road acquiring the taste for these foods, have only had a few dishes grow on me but I will never pick them over something else.  I will eat Pho maybe once a year and that's it.  
I have also been trying really hard to like sushi.  I have tried it twice now, and didn't like it either time.  And yes, I am starting with California rolls.  Can't get past those yet so can't imagine I'd be able to move on from that.  But I am trying...I really am. :) 

Spring has sprung!

Just when I decide to start writing a blog, my life becomes all boring and shit, hence a month passing since my last post.  Not that my life was super full of excitement only a month ago, I just seriously thought I'd come up with more stuff to write about.  I've had a few months worth of confusion, not sure where to take my life next and little to no motivation to take my life anywhere at all for that matter.  But now that it's Spring, I am beginning to feel a little inspired.  The snow is gone, the weather is warming up and I've now got a list of things I'm excited to do and get started with.  There's something about such a small event like a change the seasons that can be really inspiring.  I want to rid my wardrobe of all the sweaters and bulky stuff, and bring out the tees, capris and tank tops.  I want to put away the winter boots and pull out the flats and flip flops.  I can't wait to decorate the patio with spring flowers and new planters, cushions and lanterns.  I love summer.  I have no idea why I still live in a country with 2 seasons- summer and winter (and the summer doesn't last long enough by the way.)  I would love to live somewhere where it never snows- I would not miss it by any means.  Why the hell would I?  If I could work legally in the US, I would be outta here in a heartbeat.  Gawd, don't get me started on that- it'll just depress me knowing I can't and may never be able to move to California or anywhere that's always warm.  :(    

Well, I should probably get going- I have a design business to promote, a dog collar business to start, spring cleaning to do, renovation projects to finish and new rain boots to wear! Tootles!    

Emergency Escape Device? Bungee Cord? Double Dutch Anyone?

So last week a friend of my significant other's made him a scarf...11 METERS LONG!  Yes, that's meters.  WTF?  What exactly is the point of that?  It's so long, he can barely wear it without it being a safety hazard.  The other day I took it out of the car while we were unloading a few things including our dog.  Part of it slipped from my grip while we were walking and fell on the ground, my dog got her leg caught in it and kept walking so it was pulling on me while I was on a sheet of ice and I almost slipped and fell right on my ass.  The friggin' thing is dangerous!  You would need to add on 10 extra minutes to your daily travel time for each time you needed to take it on and off.

Needless to say, he waited 2 years for this scarf because they had trouble meeting up and now he can't even really wear it.  We'll have to get a bigger apartment so this thing can have a room of it's own it's so big.  Gawd.  It's sitting on the kitchen table right now because it doesn't fit in the chair and I'm reminded of how retarded it is every time I go in there.  I'll have to hide it somewhere because it looks like a damn snake and I am terrified of snakes.  Hate the scarf.  Not sure how useful it will be as originally intended.  Maybe we can save our sheets and use it to escape out the window of our apartment in the event of a fire someday  (insert eye roll here.)  Thanks for the new family member, lady!     

Decisions, decisions.....

So yesterday my mom called me.  We talk often so this is not a surprise.  But she dropped yet another bomb on me (not necessarily a bad one) but a bomb nonetheless.  I am currently working for myself, I have done so on the side for years, even when I had a full time job.  In May of 2010, I got laid off from my very good paying job 3 weeks before the house I sold was to close which would enable me to buy another one shortly thereafter.  However, with no secure job I was not going to get a house.  I was SO pissed.  They knew I was trying to do that, couldn't they friggin' wait a few months?  I took some time for myself, then decided it was a good time to venture out completely on my own, working for no one but me.  Again, this makes it difficult to buy a home, because lenders don't like to give money to self-employed people and if they do, you'd better have a damn stable income of at least 3 years of constant work.  My significant other works at a bank part time and is a musician so we can't rely on his part time job to buy a house.  I've been struggling with the idea of renting in the city because you get very little for a lot of money and am considering moving a little out of the city to rent a house and have more space for WAY less money.  I will be honest, we are struggling financially and because of my self-employment I've dismissed buying a house anytime soon.

My parents are wonderful and have always been there to help me if I need it.  They, like most parents, want to see me happy and in a good place in life.  My parents hate to see me renting, and want to see me in a place of my own again.  Hence, the phone call.  See, about a month ago, my mom fell on some ice and broke her hip.  She'll be 65 tomorrow and pretty fit and active for her age so she's lucky it wasn't worse than it was. She spent a week in the hospital and has been home now for a little over 2 weeks.  Over the past few days, it has hit her that the fall could have been much worse, she could have hit her head and I could be without a mother right now.  She started crying, saying she couldn't bear the thought of leaving this earth and me having nothing.  She wants to see me taken care of, and wants me in a house of my own.  She's trying to convince me to go back to work for whatever time it takes for a lender to consider me in a stable job (some lenders 6 months, most a year) do what I need to do to get the house then go do what I want after I have it.  Now I'm starting to second guess my game plan.  I really dread the thought of working for someone else, but I really do want my own house again.  Dammit!  Now what?   

Bring It, Bi*ch!

Okay, so lemme give you a bit of background before I move on to my rant for today.  It will be minimal- I'll leave the details for another post.  I have known my "significant other" for 4 years, and been with him as a couple for 3 years.  He is a musician, drummer to be exact, and has spent over half his life in the industry.  He is currently the drummer for a Canadian artist who is part of another band project at the moment, and we don't know if he'll play a solo show again so that's on hold for now.  Even so, he's always played in cover bands to make extra cash (sometimes 2-3 at a time) and works at a bank during the day.  2 years ago, a friend of his got him a gig working in a cover band he was playing in that was super busy and looking for a drummer.  During one of the first gigs he played which I attended, he approached me at a break and told me that everyone in the band was contributing towards a sound system that the band leader has bought so they didn't have to rent equipment every gig.  Once it was paid off, then the payments would stop (obviously.)  Until then, everyone would contribute $12.50 per gig automatically deducted from each of their pay, so $50 for the band.  He wasn't thrilled about it, but because he was the new guy he didn't want to make waves so he said fine.  The sound system was paid off sometime before summer 2010.  By August 2009, the guy who started the band informed the other members he was leaving to play in another band.  Conveniently, he hadn't booked many gigs between September and December so it was slowing down AND he was the one in possession of the sound system.  So when another band member sent him an email on behalf of the rest of the band asking if he'd be leaving the sound system and they'd buy out his share, or if he'd be taking it and buying out their shares (which they assumed would be one of the other) his reply was ...wait for it...."No, you guys were renting it from me."  Um, EXCUSE ME?  Why the FUCK would the band agree to pay into a sound system they wouldn't own in the end, which is exactly what they were doing BEFORE they bought the sound system AND the reason for buying in the first place!  How the HELL is that any different and what exactly was the point of buying a system then, so they don't have to rent one anymore?  Oh, I know!  YOU would get to walk away with something OTHER PEOPLE paid for!!  The 3 remaining members of the band, and ME were friggin' flabbergasted.  I remember the exact moment in the car when we got the text message indicating his response.  This was news to all of them.  There was never any mention of renting to ANY of them, and if so, where's your rental agreement?  Wouldn't you have people sign a rental agreement so they wouldn't make any claims to it and there are no misunderstandings?  And why did they stop "renting" it once it was paid for?  Wouldn't you keep charging people that were renting something at every gig, and not stop just because it was paid for?  So, a store that rents out equipment should lend it out for free once the rental fees have covered the cost?  WTF??  So they let it go for a while, then one day they had a practice together with the new guitar player at the singer's house.  They called the band leader, told him they had a practice and needed the equipment.  Hell, they paid for it, they were entitled to use it, and as far as they were concerned it belonged to THE BAND.  When the bass player arrived with the equipment, he told the guys that the band leader was adamant the equipment be returned that afternoon.  Well, super pissed off, my guy decided at the practice that he was going to keep part of the equipment.  He paid for 1/4 of it, so he felt he had the right to use it as he pleased.  Besides, they felt if they had part of the system, they would have some leverage to come to an agreement with him.  The rest of the equipment was returned to him and my guy has been in possession of only a set of speakers.  To fast forward, he was less than impressed, has sent a tonne of threatening emails and lies over the past few months, then we've heard nothing from him since December or so.  Mostly because we blocked him from Facebook and email so we didn't have to read his retarded moronic rants anymore.  Until tonight...when the guy showed up at my guy's gig with a bunch of his friends in a town he doesn't live in, to hang out at that bar???  Random?  I think not.  He has now served my guy with small claims court papers, suing for the equipment, plus a microphone that he bought on behalf of my guy and he has already paid him back for!  Fucking jerk.  He claims to have a letter signed by the old drummer my guy replaced that HE understands the band was renting the equipment (funny that none of the other members have this recollection) AND he has falsified a document from the bass player who is STILL IN THE BAND, and who is my guy's FRIEND claiming the same thing.  Who the fuck does this guy think he's fooling?  Even if he did have a signed agreement with the other members of the band saying it was a rental (which he doesn't) he DOES NOT have one with my guy.  The other members were there first, and this retard has even told my guy in an email that he had NO CHOICE in the matter anyways because the agreement was in place when he joined and he HAD to accept that arrangement whether he wanted to or not.  He could have 15 other signed agreements with various people- if he doesn't have one with the person he's suing, he's SOL as far as I can see.  I just want to go over to his house (which is an hour away) and give him a swift kick in the junk.  I don't like people that try to take advantage of other people, and we are not going down without a fight.  Not only did he suck almost $600 out of my guy and didn't want to give him anything to show for it, he now wants $850 more!  Not only will there be a defense entered, but a counter-claim for the total cost of what my guy has put into that sound system.  I hope the other members of the band join in on the counter-claim and screw him right up the ass.  That is all.  :)  

A deserted island is looking more appealing each day...

More recently than ever before, I am starting to understand why people lose it.  You know- go "postal" and open fire in public places out of pure rage and frustration.  It's not right of course, but I understand.  Like seriously, who needs this kind of crap?  I grew up in a smaller northern Ontario town, and have been living in Toronto for over 15 years and let me tell you, I love the city but it could potentially drive the most level-headed person completely insane.  There are things about a city of 2.5 million that you just aren't exposed to living in a smaller town like, traffic, noise levels, everyone in a hurry to go nowhere fast and a sense of entitlement attitude.  Sure, there are advantages like close proximity to shopping, restaurants, and cultural events, but I'm at a point where fighting that level of traffic and rude people isn't worth the time it takes to get to these places anymore, and you can't even enjoy them when you do finally make it to your destination.  I wouldn't move back to the town I grew up in if you paid me, but living here is no longer what it was for me even 4-5 years ago, and things I loved when I moved here are starting to drive me nuts.  I'm tired of dealing with internet and cell companies that can't get their billing right, I'm tired of fighting the huge lineups at the grocery store, or the family of 15 that feels all of them need to go to Wal Mart together, or the ignorant woman that allows their child to scream at the top of their lungs in a restaurant and does nothing to stop it...the list goes on.  Sure, these things can be experienced no matter where you go, but in smaller doses they're easier to handle.  I'm tired of sighing every time I go out the door to face another day of battle, because it shouldn't be that way.  I want to enjoy the world, and enjoy my life and just be happy and lately I'm finding that really hard to do.  A few years back I went to Barbados.  I was sitting on a bus (their "buses" are VW vans) waiting to be taken to our hotel when this feeling came over me that nothing mattered.  It didn't matter what time it was, where we were or how long it was going to take to get to where were were going, because that's the attitude of the people there.  I said to my companion (about our life back home) "WHERE ARE WE GOING?  Where the f**k are we going so fast all the time?  We are in a hurry to go NOWHERE.  These people have it ALL right here."  All that mattered to me then, was that the sun was shining, and a breeze was blowing through my hair.  I know we all want to feel like that, but why does it need to be a treat, or something we can only dream of?  Why can't we experience this every day, or why can't that be what's normal, and not something we retreat to?  I'm almost ready to throw in the towel, give up all the phones, internet and cable, credit cards, cars, insurance and everything else that sucks the life out of us and live off coconuts in my little grass hut.  Anybody with me?  I will need (some) neighbors. :)

And so it starts.....

So here I am.  Blogging.  I have to say, that this is something I never really understood why people did and totally thought I'd never do, and here I am.  Blogging.  I never wrote in a journal as a kid and still don't have the desire to, but I find myself getting more and more frustrated every day with people, and the things they do.  So I am going to use this as an outlet for my frustration, possibly looking for answers from others, some insight into if I am justified in feeling the way I do and maybe gain some joy in the fact that maybe others experience the same things too.  I mean, I hope others don't because I wouldn't wish that on anyone, but GAWD is it just me?  Am I headed straight for the loonie bin?  I guess we'll see.  Stay tuned.  Elizabeth Singleton has arrived.  :)