Emergency Escape Device? Bungee Cord? Double Dutch Anyone?

So last week a friend of my significant other's made him a scarf...11 METERS LONG!  Yes, that's meters.  WTF?  What exactly is the point of that?  It's so long, he can barely wear it without it being a safety hazard.  The other day I took it out of the car while we were unloading a few things including our dog.  Part of it slipped from my grip while we were walking and fell on the ground, my dog got her leg caught in it and kept walking so it was pulling on me while I was on a sheet of ice and I almost slipped and fell right on my ass.  The friggin' thing is dangerous!  You would need to add on 10 extra minutes to your daily travel time for each time you needed to take it on and off.

Needless to say, he waited 2 years for this scarf because they had trouble meeting up and now he can't even really wear it.  We'll have to get a bigger apartment so this thing can have a room of it's own it's so big.  Gawd.  It's sitting on the kitchen table right now because it doesn't fit in the chair and I'm reminded of how retarded it is every time I go in there.  I'll have to hide it somewhere because it looks like a damn snake and I am terrified of snakes.  Hate the scarf.  Not sure how useful it will be as originally intended.  Maybe we can save our sheets and use it to escape out the window of our apartment in the event of a fire someday  (insert eye roll here.)  Thanks for the new family member, lady!