A deserted island is looking more appealing each day...

More recently than ever before, I am starting to understand why people lose it.  You know- go "postal" and open fire in public places out of pure rage and frustration.  It's not right of course, but I understand.  Like seriously, who needs this kind of crap?  I grew up in a smaller northern Ontario town, and have been living in Toronto for over 15 years and let me tell you, I love the city but it could potentially drive the most level-headed person completely insane.  There are things about a city of 2.5 million that you just aren't exposed to living in a smaller town like, traffic, noise levels, everyone in a hurry to go nowhere fast and a sense of entitlement attitude.  Sure, there are advantages like close proximity to shopping, restaurants, and cultural events, but I'm at a point where fighting that level of traffic and rude people isn't worth the time it takes to get to these places anymore, and you can't even enjoy them when you do finally make it to your destination.  I wouldn't move back to the town I grew up in if you paid me, but living here is no longer what it was for me even 4-5 years ago, and things I loved when I moved here are starting to drive me nuts.  I'm tired of dealing with internet and cell companies that can't get their billing right, I'm tired of fighting the huge lineups at the grocery store, or the family of 15 that feels all of them need to go to Wal Mart together, or the ignorant woman that allows their child to scream at the top of their lungs in a restaurant and does nothing to stop it...the list goes on.  Sure, these things can be experienced no matter where you go, but in smaller doses they're easier to handle.  I'm tired of sighing every time I go out the door to face another day of battle, because it shouldn't be that way.  I want to enjoy the world, and enjoy my life and just be happy and lately I'm finding that really hard to do.  A few years back I went to Barbados.  I was sitting on a bus (their "buses" are VW vans) waiting to be taken to our hotel when this feeling came over me that nothing mattered.  It didn't matter what time it was, where we were or how long it was going to take to get to where were were going, because that's the attitude of the people there.  I said to my companion (about our life back home) "WHERE ARE WE GOING?  Where the f**k are we going so fast all the time?  We are in a hurry to go NOWHERE.  These people have it ALL right here."  All that mattered to me then, was that the sun was shining, and a breeze was blowing through my hair.  I know we all want to feel like that, but why does it need to be a treat, or something we can only dream of?  Why can't we experience this every day, or why can't that be what's normal, and not something we retreat to?  I'm almost ready to throw in the towel, give up all the phones, internet and cable, credit cards, cars, insurance and everything else that sucks the life out of us and live off coconuts in my little grass hut.  Anybody with me?  I will need (some) neighbors. :)