Monday, April 11, 2011
So today is my birthday. Typically, I enjoy my birthday (as you can see by the pic above) because it's another excuse to get together with my wonderful friends and those I love and eat a bunch of food we don't need and drink myself into a stupor. I'm not one of those people who has been afraid to turn another year older, or approach such milestones as 30 or even 35. Someone always asks that token question "so, do you feel older today?" My answer has never been yes. I think this is mainly because I suppose I've aged well, and no one ever guesses my age to be over 26. No one ever believes me when I tell them my true age, and I've never felt my age or felt pressure to conform to where people think I should be by now. Plus, I still get carded at bars sometimes (Really? Do I really look 19 to you?) which results in a profuse apology from the door person...lol! I have never felt much older than the day before. 34, 35- makes no difference to me. Until today.
I have passed 30 and even 35 and not said to myself "Oh my GOD, I'm OLD!" But today I turned 38. Wow. Where the hell did the time go? I am still not married (although in a committed relationship) and I still don't have kids. I'm not "that girl" that's dreamed of her wedding her entire life, with a life long subscription to Wedding Bells magazine, knowing what dress I would wear by some specific designer, blah, blah, blah. I do want to get married and I do want kids, but now that I'm approaching 40 I feel like I'm in a big panic to get all this shit done. I want to get married while it's still possible for me to look good in a wedding gown, and not look like Nana trying to rock clothes from Forever 21. Plus, I don't want to be creepin' 60 while my kids are still in high school. Let's get this show on the road, I say! I've decided to start making plans. Even though I don't have a ring yet, I think I'm going to start planning a wedding. See, boys don't get (well MY boy doesn't get) that sometimes you have to plan ahead. He's the type of guy that waits until it's too late, THEN wants to start thinking about it. He doesn't put money aside little by little so that when it comes time, we have funds to do stuff. Weddings need to be planned at least a year in advance, and we will be having a destination wedding so you need to give people plenty of notice to take time off and save up some cash. Plus, I think if we have a resort picked out and a date, it will force him to start saving for a ring. I no longer have time to wait for the ring, then start planning if I want it all to happen by the time I'm 40. Some would say I am jinxing myself by planning a wedding when I haven't been proposed to yet. Am I? I don't know. But the past has shown that the boy responds to a little "push" so to say so I think in this case, it's justified.
So Happy Birthday to me, and my present to myself is seeing the look on the boy's face when I tell him he's getting married in a few years. Should be a fun night. :)